How could I have forgotten...?

Very easily.

I've been informed that I left out some rather major events from this past weekend (See the entry two below this one), so to atone, I will make you read about them in a new post. All together now: WOOHOO

The first of a handful of glaring omissions would be Tom's impromptu decoration of the Imperial Palace sign. Though I wasn't present for the event, I later saw a picture that was described by Tom as today's "Moment of Zen". Cheeks full of bile, bent over the balcony, Tom let loose on the 'M' of the sign. To anyone standing below, this must have seemed like quite a surprise, though I can assure you it's no the first time it's happened. See the M on the sign to the left? That's the magic spot. It's about twenty feet tall, ten if them in serious need of cleaning.

I would say that the second glaring emission, er, omission would be what Jimmy later did to it, but we'll not rub out that story quite yet.

Since we're not counting that last blurb, official Omission #2 would have to be a snippet from a conversation had at the Forum Shops. In public. I must stress this.

A little background: Tom is a master of the hypotheticals. eg If you had to give up sex, or meat, which would you do? One of those questions attempts to discover if one would prefer giving up oral pleasure, or cheese. Though I am prone to giving these questions a little thought, Jimmy didn't need much before he fired off his answer:

"Cheese. I love me a good BJ".

This might seem like normal conversational banter for the typical college-buddy crowd, and it is, but it is typically reserved for times when said crowd isn't standing next to a FREAKIN' ELEVEN YEAR OLD GIRL. Jimmy thinks she was eleven, and I'm inclined to trust his instinct and experience in this area. We are all at fault for not realizing we were in a very public, very crowded area, but even this verbal ejaculation was perhaps not timed to perfection.

Omission #3: How long can man survive on edible panties alone? We never found out, but I'll be damned if we didn't think it to death. Again, I believe this was a public conversation. The question itself is not all that hard to answer, but the questions that followed gave the conversation a little more depth. My personal favorite discussion was flavors ("Aw honey, you bought tuna again?"), but we also discussed sizes, material composition, etc. I'm not sure if we ever resolved this issue. Jimmy? Tom? Comments?

Omission #4: An in-depth look at SEMA. We're not going to go very deep, but I'll give you some snippets. The first would be Merv's name badge, which if I'm not mistaken said "Marlene" or "Darlene"... something along those lines. Regardless, stocky jewish men don't typically take on monikers of Roseanne characters.

Next would be the amazing Toyota we saw outside. The thing had more bling than Chingy, a Louis Vuitton print, and had sequins glued to every exposed surface. I noticed the sultry Solara and stated that it, "looked like it was raped by a Bedazzler". Overhearing this comment and the subsequent laughter, Coolio got in the car and drove/bumped it away. Nice suspension, too bad you're only parking in two dimensions.

Second-to-last of the SEMA observations would be that Jon turns into a nervous little school girl around women signing autographs and taking hooker-esque pictures. You know, the whole 'wander around, kicking the carpet, half-glance' thing? The one guy I know who is never at a loss for confidence actually looked intimidated by them. That's probably because he's not used to paying for sex, so broaching the subject could've been potentially awkward.

Finally, there was the Saturn. Ah yes, t'was a warm yellow, like the twinkle of dew on marigolds in the morning... plus about two hundred feet of plasma screens. Have you ever watched Finding Nemo on the hood of a Saturn? No, not you, the movie. You should do it some time- it's great. This car epitomizes what cracks me up about car modification- $50,000 worth of crap on a $10 car. It used to be confined to the performance mods, but thanks to rappers, we now have TVs embedded in headlamps.

That should cover it for this installment, but rest assured I will keep you updated as new and interesting events come to light.